friendly-neighborhood-patriarch:
friendly-neighborhood-patriarch:
Why am i always the one to ask guys out?
šššš Iām not even a dominant person but i get way too impatient waiting for a guy to ask me out. So i just go for it. Like almost every time. The day a guy asks me out ill be SHOOK
I think a couple things. One, some guys have probably been shot down too many times and have just given up. Two, there is a lot of pressure on guys to be the ones to do the approaching and asking, and it can make guys extremely nervous. Three, there is a lot of media and other things out there slamming certain types of guys that ask girls out as creeps, so some guys are worried about coming off as creepy and decide to give up because of it. Four, some guys just straight up donāt feel comfortable being the ones to make the first move, and everyone telling them that they HAVE to in order to date someone just makes things worse.
Another thing I have noticed on dating sites is that women seem to want to be wowed by guys that make the first move. They want to be impressed, and wonāt accept timid āhiāās or anything like that. And after trying a couple times and either being rejected or ignored every single time, they can just give up.
Yeah that makes sense. Im also usually the one to message first on dating sites. I wonder if i come off as too aggressive or dominant because of it.
I personally wouldnāt think so at all. Some insecure guys might think that, but I think a good amount of guys would be appreciative of you making the first move. I donāt like that just starting a conversation could be seen as aggressive or dominant, especially because of gender roles and what a good portion of people expect men and women to act like. Donāt be afraid to come off as dominant or aggressive. Just be yourself.
in a day and age where girls post screenshots of guys trying to pick up girls in a dating app to humiliate them, a girl making the first move is such a relief and confidence booster
The conflicting signals/feelings/formalities of being a friend/friendly with a girl and asking/being in a relationship with her are more confusing and trepidatious than waking up on the precipice of a volcano.
What Iām saying is: a girl making the first move is like her taking your hand and pulling you out of a volcano.
I love this. Lmao.
Itās so goddamn true tho.
@i-am-the-broken-bride saw she wanted something and took the chance. Itās such a relief.
To be fair I was drunk.
itās ok so was I.
See kids? these things sometimes work out!
Most girls I ever asked out actually laughed at me because they thought I was joking or asking for one of my friends because I usually used comedy as a way to establish communication with others because I was so shy ā¦.. so I ended up just laughing it off and acting like nothing happened
one time I saw an old friend from school who actually confessed she had a crush on me and was waiting for me to ask her out
But I thought she was out of my league and didnāt know her friendliness was flirting
She had a face of sheer confusion when I said āwhy didnāt you ask me out?ā ā¦.like it never crossed her mind to initiate anything
Her husband said she never starts anything first and that he only asked her out by accident and thatās how they ended up as a coupleā¦.
I didnāt get a chance to ask how that happened by accident
I pretty much completely shut down when it comes to possibly asking someone out, or making the first move. I’m just far too nervous about it.
And as was mentioned before, the constant barrage of"a guy should make the first move", combined with the trend of sharing screenshots, means there’s a heightened sense of dread whenever the potential comes up.
It sucks big time.