thelastsworld:

kenyon-d:

mrkenyon:

floating-head:

heroponelxirion:

squigglydigglydoo:

hecallsmehischild:

marshyoftheblobs:

trufflesmushroom:

copperbadge:

digitaldiscipline:

librarian-amy:

starstuffandalotofcoffee:

tikkunolamorgtfo:

nicknameless:

claviusrobinsky:

jigglebologna:

thisistheglamorous:

imightbebrilliant:

dogwithsharperteeth:

ryanjjohn:

somethingwildalwaysgrows:

jeffoccasionally:

itsmrswhit:

This is fun!
Reblog with your poor explanation!

I enter codes so that dudes with hammers can have help when they’re sick or old.

I break your electric stuff when you don’t want it no more.

I tap very loudly on my keyboard so insurance vendors can fight each other for big-ass client business.

Three different sets of people yell at me about three separate things they want implemented. I then yell at a different set of people to do what the other people want done. Then I travel to the place to make sure the people I yelled at did what I told them to so I don’t get yelled at again.

I make my money from a company who makes its money by taking the money earned by people who trust them with their money. I also run reports on who makes more money and where they put it. Money.

I run a team that makes people online feel like they need to click things for information. I then force them to consume extra things that they don’t want. I also spend a lot of time trying to not piss off very rich public figures with giant egos. 

I use computers and mathematical equations that don’t make any sense to figure out how few people are needed to do a job so as little money is spent as possible

[♫ that’s the technology-being-use-to-exploit-workers-under-the-guise-of-efficiency raaaaagggg ♫]

I use my extensive knowledge of a particular product to put outdated system admins out of work

[♫ that’s the i’m-going-to-be-the-first-against-the-wall-when-the-proletariat-rises raaaaaag ♫]

(sorry for ripping you off david)

(sorry not sorry)

I encourage adults who act like children to act like adults.

I try to make online services make sense to mostly men who sell things really fast (currebt project).

I tell people where books are.

I make sure the machines that give off particles that might give you cancer give off the right amount of particles.
Also I know how magnets work?

I put dirty books and movies/CDs into piles. If they are very dirty or broken, I put them in a special pile of shame. I’m in grad school so I can take the piles of dirty books and give them to other people.

People who are bad with computers call me.

I stalk the wealthy. 

I do the thing preschoolers do for fun, except not on a wall, and not with crayons, and I don’t get in trouble for it.

I stick things up animal’s asses.

I run around between people who have trouble communicating trying to make sure the thing everyone is trying to communicate about gets done right and also I do anything else that anyone doesn’t have time for but needs done yesterday.

Before that I communicated between people who had trouble understanding how u mek internet sitez and people who made internet sites so that the people who had trouble understanding how u mek internet sitez got their very own internet sitez.

Before that I slapped meat and veggies together on bread and shoved it at people for money.

I draw smoke and water for 40+ hours a week.

I read words off paper with enthusiasm

I rearrange words in a box until the box does what I want

You want to stop doing things.

I have to inconvenience you enough to convince you not to.

I turn paper into digital papers

I corral kids. 

I shove food into trays to feed people who dig holes in the ground.