you have committed crimes against flavortown and her people. what say you in your defense?
*guy fieri leans forward so his lips touch the mic*: uh … it was … off the hook, your honor
Month: October 2016
good responses to being stabbed with a sword (part 2)
- oh no i’m allergic
- it sword of seems like you’ve got a problem with me
- laughter. not the word “laughter”, just. laughing
- sure it’s the thought that counts and i appreciate the sentiment but does this gift come with a receipt
- you wound me. literally. you just. actually wounded me. that thing is really sharp. so you. don’t even look at me like that they can’t all be winners
- wouldn’t it have been hilarious if i just flew back like balloons do when you pop ‘em? can you even imagine? god. just. do it again, pretend the first time didn’t happen. come on. please
honorable mentions
- grabbing the sword by the blade, pulling it out, handing it back to them and saying “you dropped this”
- that’s unfortunate
- it could be worse
- this isn’t really how i pictured my day going when i woke up this morning, but who am i to complain
I…. want them to play DnD together.
you know, this is well within what batman would do. Like, batman animated series batman would totally join them in playing D&D.
Author problems: trying to write characters who are smarter than you are
did you kno that 10 million pounds of maple syrup was stolen from quebec
10 million pounds
1/3 of the government’s reserve
like. how do you even steal 10 million pounds of maple syrup. where do you hide it. what would you even do with it
why does the canadian government have a maple syrup reserve
They’re canada
(Source: https://vine.co/)
Pizza everywhere, lol