Brought a snack to school yesterday.

2 shelled hard boiled eggs and a leftover panseared bratwurst in a little sandwich baggy.

Quick, simple, and packed with protien.

We had our usual 10 minute break in class and I was hankering for sum fud. So I grabbed my baggy of goodies and headed to our usual group chat spot.

On the way there, I decided I wanted to eat the Braut first. I’d already had eggs for breakfast and wanted some palette variety before I had two more.

But the Braut was cold and icky, with a layer of grease on it’s taut skin. I didn’t want to grab that. So I just wiggled ¾ of it out of the baggy and held onto the bottom of the Braut through the plastic.

But now the eggs dangled precariously in the smooth sack below my clenched fist, they were in in danger of swing about. God forbid I accidentally drop the bag and spill my precious eggs on the floor! So I used my free hand to gently cradle and caress the delicate pair.

Here’s a reenactment photo from today.

With my delicious trophy gripped in one hand and my second course safely secured in the other, I proudly strode up to my classmates, looked my buddy Ben straight in the eyes, and tore into that Braut like a starved Rottweiler.

My classmates watched in fascinated horror as the rest of the weiner disappeared down my gullet. Followed swiftly by the slippery tender eggs.

It was very yummy.

It didn’t occur to me how violently gay the whole experience was until later that night.

I made sure to do it the next moring as well.

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