if i were a zookeeper my intrusive thoughts would be wild
brain: slap that penguin. right across his little blubbery tummy. it’ll jiggle.
me: no??? that’s mean???
brain: polar bear, then
brain: the lions just got fed raw meat
brain: steal it and eat it in front of them
rowan i want you to know that this is the best possible reply i could have received
I work with animals and this is true for me. No, I cannot eat sea stars out the touch tank no matter HOW good you think the cronch will be, brain.
sometimes you wonder what was going through the head of the first human to eat something really weird and then you see this post and stop wondering
“lick the dolphin, rowyn”
“no, brain. wtf??”
brain: “eat the herring”
me: “no why would I do that???”
brain “probably smooth n tasty”
brain: bite gecko in half
me: thats fucked
brain: nice clean bite
brain: put hand in sharks mouth
me: no it will bite me what do you want to achieve
brain: feel little pointy teeth
me: ok good point but its against the rules