yourplayersaidwhat:

Context: During a one-shot campaign, we were searching an NPCs house because we were told to wait around. Said NPC looks like a living toasted marshmallow.

Bard-Magician: Can I search (NPC)’s house for erotica

DM: Uhhhh…. Okay roll for that.

Bard-Magician OOC: *nat 20* Oh god, the toasted marshmallow has the biggest erotica collection in town.

DM: *dying from laughter* Yup, that’s canon now. You find a loose rug. Under it is a small, marshmallow-shaped stairway to the basement. It’s filled to the brim with erotica. This is the biggest erotica collection in the world… Aside from the Royal Library of Erotica they have in Al Majiik.

Bard-Magician: I pick one up, scan through it, and think to myself, “What is this boring shit, I want swords and adventure dammit”

Paladin OOC: Oh there are swords alright. Just not the ones you’re thinking of.