macdutton:

supersayainmilk:

smurflewis:

smurflewis:

smurflewis:

smurflewis:

smurflewis:

Today I walk into work and there are a ton of people in my building and it’s kind of a mess and everyone is talking and I sort of just blurt out:

“Man, it’s a zoo in here!”

Everyone stopped and looked at me as though I had 2 heads.

Then I realized.

I work at a zoo.

Update: my boss was talking about how he was really excited for an entire week of vacation and was wondering what he should do, so I looked him dead in the eye and told him, with a straight face,

“You should visit the local Zoo, I heard it’s really nice.”

Under pain of death I am no longer allowed to make any zoo related jokes.

Part three: I was cleaning the squirrel monkeys and one of them kept trying to climb up me so I sort of just yelled

“WILL YOU STOP MONKEYING AROUND??”

I forgot my boss was in the next room and he walked and just glared at me

Another update:

I was in the reptile house and one of the new interns looked like they needed some help grabbing a snake so I just blurted out:

“Let me slither on over there and help”

They actually appreciated the pun XD

So I’m in the kangaroo yard and my boss says “they need more water, hop to it.” And I kind of look at him not sure if he said that on purpose but he looks back with such horror and just whispers “I hope you’re happy” and walks away.

I hope you’re happy

@yang-smash-trash