Context: I joined a side campaign, different from my usual group, but we’ve been avoiding the plot for about 8 sessions now by making things almost turn into an ERP (which for those of you unfamiliar with the term, is RP with da sexbang and stuff) but getting derailed at the last second. We’ve come up with increasingly ridiculous ways of doing so. I’m very proud of this one.

DM: You’ve successfully gotten the bartender in the bedroom with you.

Mar the Barbarian (me): I crash through the ceiling and land facedown on the bed, breaking it, then get up quickly and yell “MAR WILL SAVE FRIEND!” I pick up Borris and carry him bridal-style out of the Inn, running like there’s a fire.

DM: When will this end

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