yourplayersaidwhat:

(The dwarven city is under siege by goblins and mole people. Finding a family of dwarves, we escort them several floors up to the entrance that we discover to be guarded by three goblins, who are currently taunting the dwarven guards on the other side of a large green barrier. The goblins are in possession of a large, steal box projecting a green light, which has created the barrier – a veil – that is blocking the dwarves from returning to their city. We take care of the goblins, and while our Ranger speaks with the dwarves, the rest of our party tries to figure out what the box is.)

Druid (ooc): I would like to kick the box as hard as I can.

DM: Um, alright! Roll for strength.

Druid (ooc): 18.

DM: Okay, you throw back your foot and hurl it forward to give the steel box a grand ol’ kick…your foot connects, but the box barely budges. You’re sure your toe is bleeding now, and you take 1 point of damage.

Duid (ooc): I grab my foot and cry.

Ranger: Okay guys, the dwarves said the goblins brought up this box, but they have no idea what it is. The wall’s been here for nearly a day, and no one can get through.

Monk: Can it be moved?

Ranger: I’m not sure. We can try.

Bard: I’ll assist.

Monk: Me too. 

(The three attempt moving the box, and while it does budge just a bit, the veil remains in its original place still blocking the exit.)

Rogue: Maybe…we can…plug it up?

(Everyone goes silent, and looks at the DM.)

DM: You can certainly try?

Monk: We need a dead body.

Druid (ooc): I want the dead goblin that had his pants down and was pressing his ass against the veil.

DM: *snorts* Okay, you um, you go over and grab the body-

Druid (ooc): I hand it to [Monk].

Monk (ooc): I shove the body into the hole in the box!

DM: Okay, you slam the goblin butt-first into the hole where the veil is bring projected from-

Monk (ooc): WHOA WHAT

(*everyone dies laughing*)

Monk (ooc): I DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS

DM: -and the veil disperses. 

Rogue: THE BUTT-PLUG WORKED