dnangle:

sullenshadow:

ifeeeeeelinfinite:

crownmalone:

ARE YOU WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?

During a seminar, a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?”

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?”
In all seriousness, she answered “How did you know?”
“Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind.” replied the author.

Here’s the answer:

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.

People in love sometimes say, I was swept of my feet. Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this)

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: the universe determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go!

why doesn’t this have more notes

This is so serious. If you care about someone, fucking care about them. Remember it every day. Remember it on bad days especially. Remember it in fights. Remember it when you’re happy. Appreciate it. Love it. Be it. Live it. Feel it. Cause you have no idea when it will be gone. There are only so many chances. And if you do forget and you do something stupid. You’d better fucking fight for it, fucking fight as hard as you can. As hard as you can doesn’t mean until it is a detriment to you, but until you’re sure it won’t be. True love will always be true love and if you lose it, you’re going to regret it.

I agree with with the idea of constantly putting fourth effort and making sure that the other person in the relationship feels appreciated. 

BUT.

The most important thing to know is that you never ever need someone else in your life to make you happy or appreciated. If you feel like you do, then you’re not ready for a relationship. Love yourself and know your worth, or no one else can. That void can only be filled by you. Never – do not ever try to fill that void with another person. Don’t get clingy and use them to fulfill you. That will always lead to unhappiness. Make sure there is a healthy distance between the two people, and only then can there be function. Have boundaries and respect. Even after coming to terms with yourself, having those things are hard – so you gotta be comfortable with who you are before you pursue others.

Yeah, the honeymoon phase is powerful as heck and a complete high that lasts for a while, but you still have to make sure you have distance and are aware of yourself. That way, when you come down from it, you’ll have a good foundation that works for you and your partner.

There is no standard rule of how to love someone. And just because you love them or put fourth effort doesn’t mean that things will work out. If you feel like someone’s pissing you off and you’re feeling uneasy, then for heaven’s sake, talk to them about it. Communication is the second most important thing to know.

But if you do that and you start to regret being with them, if their habits annoy you, if phone calls become a bother, and their “idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.” Then GET OUT. Don’t try to force yourself to stay. Move on. Don’t trick the person your with and yourself by wasting your time. If the relationship doesn’t work out, then it doesn’t work out.

You deserve better then to be around someone who is bothering you and isn’t able to compromise through communication. You deserve to be happy. You don’t need someone else for that

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.

It’s possible to love more then once, and to love them differently and learn new things. If your relationship problems keep happening, go to a professional and start learning more about yourself before pursuing relationships. 

Remember this always: the universe determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go!

Don’t be afraid to let them go. Let them go. Give them boundaries. If you have that respectful foundation with a person, affection will grow naturally.

hugtherobots:

I know it’s trendy to fight the system and cry that we are all becoming slaves of technology, but this attitude overlooks that computers and phones are tools for communicating. When someone thinks I’m an idiot smiling at a machine, I’m actually smiling at my girlfriend who is 10000 miles away and whom I would have never met if not for these newfangled electronics. As they say: when the wise man points to the moon, the fool looks at the finger.

This is a topic that I’ve been wanting to tackle for a while now; much credit to this excellent post for bringing it to the front of my brain.